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Guide to Healing After a Suicide
Iris Bolton
1. Know you can survive. You may not think so, but you
can.
2. Stuggle with "why" it happened until you no longer need
to know "why", or until you are satisfied with partial answers.
3. Know you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the
feelings, but all your feelings will be normal.
4. Anger, guilt, confusion, forgetfulness are common
responses. You are not crazy - you are in mourning.
5. Be aware you may feel appropriate anger at the person,
at the world, at God, at yourself.
6. You may feel guilty for what you think you did or did
not do.
7. Having suicidal thoughts is common. It does not mean you
will act on these thoughts.
8. Remember to take one moment or day at a time.
9. Find a good listener with whom to share. Call someone.
10. Don't be afraid to cry. Tears are healing.
11. Give yourself time to heal.
12. Remember, the choice was not yours. No one is the sole
influence in another's life.
13. Expect setbacks, Don't panic if emotions return like a
tidal wave. You may only be experiencing a remnant of grief.
14. Try to put off major decisions.
15. Give yourself permission to get professional help.
16. Be aware of the pain of your family and friends.
17. Be patient with yourself and with others.
18. Set your own limits and learn to say no.
19. Steer clear of people who want to tell you what or how
to feel.
20. Know that there are support groups that can be helpful,
such as Compassionate Friends, or Survivor of Suicide Groups. If not, ask a
professional to help start one.
21. Call on your personal faith to help you through.
22. It is common to experience physical reactions to your
grief, i.e. headaches, loss of appetite, inability to sleep, etc.
23. The willingness to laugh with others and at yourself is
healing.
24. Wear out your questions, anger, guilt, or other
feelings until you can let go of them.
25. Know that you will never be the same again, but you can
survive and go beyond just surviving...
http://www3.sympatico.ca/masecard/healing.html
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