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If Someone You Know Has Committed Suicide

Having someone you know commit suicide can be devastating. (It can be especially difficult for police officers, because they are programmed to "be in charge," and may feel that they have to, and can, "fix everything.")

You may feel:

  • Sad or depressed at the loss of a person that you knew and cared about
  • Guilty or responsible for the person's death because you "did something" to "cause" it
  • Guilty or responsible for the person's death because you didn't realize that they were suicidal, or couldn't prevent the person from committing suicide
  • Angry at yourself because you couldn't prevent the person from committing suicide
  • Angry at the person who committed suicide because:
    • They "left" you, possibly without warning
    • They didn't trust you enough to tell you about their problems
    • They caused problems in your personal or work life by committing suicide
    • They left a "mess" or "loose ends" for you to "clean up"
  • Guilty because you are angry at the person who committed suicide

These are all perfectly normal feelings. Try to keep in mind that:

    • It is all right to be sad, upset or angry about what happened
    • No one but the person who committed suicide is "responsible" for it
    • Neither you, nor anyone else except the person who committed suicide, could absolutely have prevented it

The best thing you can do is to talk to someone about the way you feel. You may wish to speak to briefly to a psychiatrist, psychologist, or counselor.

You can also contact a support group or organization for those who have had friends or family commit suicide:

Survivors of Law Enforcement Suicide

National Directory of Support Groups for Survivors of Suicide

Suicide has a powerful effect on co-workers of the officer who has committed suicide. Your agency should make counseling available to the officer's co-workers, and should have an appropriate counselor discuss the officer's death briefly at the officer's workplace. Whoever speaks at the officer's workplace should emphasize that:

    • It is all right for the officer's co-workers to be upset about the officer's death, and to feel sadness, guilt or responsibility that they "caused" the officer's death, or did not prevent it. The may even feel anger at the officer who committed suicide.
    • No one but the officer was responsible for the officer's death
    • That no one could absolutely have prevented the officer's death
    • Anyone who wishes to discuss the officer's suicide privately with a counselor can do so

http://www.policesuicide.com/someone_you_know.htm

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