On Aug. 17, she will join thousands of others on a 26-mile walk, at night, from Fairfax, Va., to the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C. The first-ever "Out of the Darkness" walk will benefit the American Foundation for the Prevention of Suicide. It is also intended to give more light to the subject of suicide, which is often cloaked in stigma and shame. The families affected, who must deal not only with loss but with the guilt that tends to accompany suicide, can be left to suffer in isolation.

When Dravis makes this long trek, she will be thinking of her son Ben, who died from suicide just a year ago, on March 4, 2001. He was 19 years old. She will have the moral support of at least 3,000 others who have suffered similar tragedies. Her two sisters also plan to walk with her, and her younger son Robbie will be along the route, cheering her on.

Dravis said a primary reason for participating in the walk is to promote her own healing. She also wants to support the foundation in its suicide prevention work and in increasing awareness about the issue. "I would like to help remove the stigma that goes with suicide and mental illness," she said. "It's a disease, just like cancer or diabetes."

Since it's not too late to sign up for the walk, Dravis wants to encourage others from this area to participate. Dravis said her son Ben struggled with depression and alcohol before he took his own life. He had just graduated from Poudre High School the previous January, and it was difficult to decide what direction to take next in his life.

"He wanted to do everything right," his mother said, and he set high expectations for himself. Ben had attempted suicide once before, about nine months earlier. However, his death took most people by surprise. "His friends were devastated," said Dravis. "In their eyes, Ben was the one who always had it together."

Robbie fondly remembers his brother as a very funny guy. "He loved to make everybody laugh," his mother added. An employee at Albertson's, he was a hard worker and was well liked by older people at the store. He had many friends.

Trust instincts

Dravis said that, ever since Ben was in junior high, she and her husband had noticed that something "wasn't quite right" about their son. She has this advice for other parents: "Trust your own judgments and instincts," and don't allow other people to brush off signs of depression as a mere adolescent phase. "There are resources out there to help you," she added.

One resource Dravis has appreciated in the aftermath of the tragedy is the book "My Son, My Son" by Iris Bolton. She recommends it to anyone who wants to understand suicide better.

Dravis wants people to be aware of families' needs for emotional support when they have suffered through a suicide. This support is needed not just at the funeral, she noted, but for a long while afterwards. In her case, she is grateful for the wonderful support she has received from colleagues at Cache La Poudre Elementary, where she is a literacy teacher. "I don't know what I would have done this whole year without them - it's overwhelming," she said.

Dravis also credits her neighbors in LaPorte for their understanding and compassion. "I haven't suffered from the alienation I've heard about," she said.

Facts about suicide About 30,000 Americans commit suicide each year, making suicide the eighth leading cause of death in this country. Colorado has the 10th highest suicide rate in the nation. In Larimer County, 45 people committed suicide last year - one person every eight days. In Colorado, suicide is the second leading cause of death for youth ages 15 to 24. The largest number of suicide deaths is among middle-aged men, ages 35 to 44, but the highest rate (percentage of the group) is among seniors.

Depression is the leading cause of suicide, and depression is treatable.

Common warning signs include depression, previous suicide attempts, suicidal statements, suicide notes or plans or the gathering of supplies that could be used for suicide.

Myth: Once people decide to commit suicide, no one can stop them. Fact: For many people, the suicidal crisis passes and they are grateful they were prevented from taking their life. Myth: People who talk about suicide never attempt suicide. Fact: About three-fourths of those who take their lives have talked previously about suicide.

Myth: One should never ask if a person has suicidal thoughts, because it may plant the idea.

Fact: Always ask. Suicidal people may feel relief when asked because it gives them permission to talk about their pain.

Numbers to call The following are important phone numbers related to suicide prevention:

Immediate danger of suicide: call 911 Crisis line, for people who are depressed and need to talk to someone: 221-2114 Referral line for counseling: 498-7610 Suicide Resource Center of Larimer County, for education and prevention: 635-9301

Thanks to the Suicide Resource Center of Larimer County for information about suicide used in this article.

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