What is a "suicide griever"?

Have there been any studies of suicide grievers?

What are the needs of suicide grievers?

What about suicide risk among suicide grievers?

What kind of help do suicide grievers need?

Where can suicide grievers get support?

What is a suicide grief support group?

How can friends help suicide grievers?

It is the outcome of severe stress generated by a serious personal crisis. Risk increases as the crisis, or the individual's perception of it, worsens. Feelings of control and self-esteem deteriorate. Shame and guilt lead to self-alienation and isolation. Suicidal individuals also experience chemical imbalances. Most notably a depletion of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that inhibits self-harm. Acute suicidality diminishes choice. The individual's options are to endure or end utter agony. Suicide is completed when the psychological pain is so unbearable that death is seen as the only relief.

What is a "suicide griever"?

A suicide griever has lost someone they cared for deeply to suicide. They may be a parent, child, spouse, sibling, other relative, partner, or friend. It is estimated that every suicide leaves 6-8 "survivors." The 31000 reported suicides in our nation cause 180,000-250,000 men, women, and children to become suicide grievers every year. There may be up to 4 million suicide grievers in the US. About 80% are grieving a male relative or friend and 90% of are mourning someone who was classified as "white" on their death certificate. 60% are here because of guns.

Have there been any studies of suicide grievers?

There are lot of articles but too little research. Sampling suicide grievers is difficult; surveying emotionally distressed individuals is a challenge. Long-term studies are few. Much research involves widows or parents of teens. Most studies address attitudes and show we are viewed less positively than victims of other losses and draw less support. Griever response to the suicide is the focus of next largest number of studies. Research is needed on the number of suicide grievers, different types of grievers, and how all can best be helped.

What are the needs of suicide grievers?

Suicide is a traumatic loss -- sudden, unexpected, and often violent. The grief it causes is intense and prolonged. Suicide is still stigmatized. This may cause suicide grievers to withdraw. Suicide grievers feel responsible for their loss. Those who witness the suicide or find the body may suffer post traumatic stress. Many feel anger towards the victim, themselves, or others. They may become depressed and all are at high risk of becoming suicidal.

What about suicide risk among suicide grievers?

Data on suicide griever suicide is unavailable. Estimates of this group's risk of suicide range from 1.5 to 5 times higher. One of four suicide attempters has a family history of suicide. "Survivors" are the group at highest risk of suicide. A multistate study of suicides found that 14% had lost a relative to suicide. Adolescents who have lost a friend to suicide are almost 3 times more likely to complete suicide than those who have not. Suicide grievers who have a consanguineous relationship to the victim may share neurobiological features that may increase thier risk.

What kind of help do suicide grievers need?

One does not "get over" a suicide. The effects may stabilize, but the loss is forever felt. Personal values and beliefs are shattered. The individual is changed emotionally. Every suicide griever needs immediate support at the time of the loss. This is generally not available, which complicates bereavement. Most need long-term support best given by others affected by suicide loss. Some may need individualized or family counseling or medical care. All need help in understanding suicide and what it has done to their lives.

Where can suicide grievers get support?

Survivors of Suicide groups offer general support. Parents may benefit from the support of The Compassionate Friends. Local hospices may have grief support groups. Resources may be listed in the "Blue Pages" of the phone directory. Many rural areas, small towns, and urban neighborhoods are without any grief support resources. There are e-mail and chat-based "suicide survivor" support resources on the Internet, which offer immediacy and accessibility.

What is a suicide grief support group?

It is a form of mutual self-help where those bereaved get together with others to share their experiences in dealing with their loss. Groups may be peer-led by a volunteer who is also a suicide griever or they may be led by a professional. Groups may be open-ended or closed-ended. The former meets once or twice a month on an ongoing basis throughout the year. It may be joined at any time and discussions are "open." The latter usually run for several weeks at various times during the year. There are set discussion topics. "Everyone who is touched by suicide has a contribution to make to ... better understand the suicidal process."

How can friends help suicide grievers?

Let them be who they've become -- people changed by tragedy. Just try to "be there." Support whatever form their grief takes. Trying to understand is okay, but just caring is enough. Realize that you can't possibly relate to what they are experiencing and that you don't have to. It's okay to talk about "it" because that's all that's on their minds. Expect some anger and conflicting expressions towards their lost loved one as emotions are in turmoil. Let any statements they make about responsibility, blame, or guilt just flow. It will sort itself out over time. Please mention their loved one, especially if it was a son or daughter. Avoid setting any timetable for recovery as there isn't any.

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