Suicide Grief - Difficult

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Suicide Grief - Difficult

Suicides can be particularly difficult for survivors to deal with. Often the survivors blame themselves making the grief even more intense. Additionally, to complicate the situation further, suicide has a social stigma attached to it. Without a doubt, suicide survivors suffer more for a unique reasons: 1) because they have experienced a sudden and typically traumatic death and 2) because most friends and perhaps relatives avoid their intense pain or grief for lack of understanding or "knowing what to say". Despite all of this, survivors of suicide death still need to grieve in a way similar to any other death. It is difficult to "get over it" when a suicide occurs. Family and friends should be particularly patient with one another. They are all struggling with explosive emotions, guilt, fear and shame.

If you are helping someone go through their period of grief, be attentive and listen well. It is no so important what you say but just being there to listen is a lot of help. Encourage your family member or friend to open up and share their feelings.

When talking with a grieving suicide survivor, avoid simplistic statements or cliches. Cliches or comments such as, "you are holding up so well," "time will heal all wounds," "You have to be strong for others," are not constructive and tend to diminish the thoughts and feelings of the one you are trying to help.

Don't criticize or demean the suicided individual or even agree with the survivor if they should do the same. Statements like "out of his (or her) mind" or, "crazy or insane" only compound and complicate the situation. Be compassionate and give permission to the survivor to share their feelings without fear of criticism or judgement.

It is important to recognize a loss due to suicide as particularly painful. The feelings of grief are compounded and require extra patience and effort on the part of the bereaved and those that try to help them.

http://www.earthmanfunerals.com/HelpfulInfo/ExtraGrief.html

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